What is the definition of being a success? Is the term defined by how much money you have or the possessions you have inherited? Sometimes, I wonder what my grandma meant when she would always tell me to “become a great person.” But as I get older, I can unravel what she meant by it and it has become my definition of success: to be able to take care of the people around you and not have to be worried about or worried for. I’ve never really had money nor do I have greed for it but I do have greed of wanting to take care of my loved ones. Given the circumstances I’m in right now, I’m a failure. However, I think the hurdles that I have to conquer are just building blocks for my life and it actually encourages me to know where I can be in a few years from now. Anyways, I was just thinking about the chaotic life I lead right now and knowing that it will pay off in the future has brightened up my day a bit. The people that have helped me throughout, ill never forget it


Park De Gam sajang seems to really like me for some reason after I started tying my hair, then dying it bright. 

Don De Gam is closing by the end of month… please come by Wednesday or Sunday :) around 7? I’ll be working those two days. I’m kind of glad that I didn’t quit when they told us that we were closing down. The boss lady seems to want to use me for the bar shes opening soon… she thinks I drink a lot… which is totally not true :P

Anyways… get your last bit of the BEST dechang in LA!


It’s amazing how a person can change in a year. I have been shocked on numerous occasions on how much I’ve changed. For the better or worse, I’ve yet still found out.

It’s true that once you’ve been hurt by someone you’ve truly loved, the side effects of a broken heart is doing whatever to forget the pain; rather it be drinking or just doing something all the time to pass time. I don’t know if I’ve become mean but rather, I’m more straight forward and speak my mind. If I don’t like you, I have probably said it.

This weekend really made me reminisce about the events a year ago. I was really happy back then, I can’t really express the same feelings 365 days later. It also made me look back at how I was… what kind of a person I was… and what kind of a person I have become. I don’t know if I’m satisfied but I know theres something more to life than the life I lead right now. One thing I’m thankful for though is that without the events that occured back then, I wouldn’t have the great friends I have now.

Its hard to put how I feel into words right now but I just want to see that bright light guiding me once again. As I keep walking alone, it feels as if that ray of hope and joy is getting dimmer and smaller.

To many different friends, I’ve expressed my lonliness. It’s not that I miss having a  girlfriend (granted its been like less than two months since I dumped my ex) but more like I miss truly caring for someone. I want to love again… but I don’t want to love carelessly. I’ve only loved someone once, too much that I would’ve given my life for her. But with that much love, the greater the pain.

Mmm… anyways, I just hope I haven’t lost all my innocence.

It used to be simple…

LET US V(al)ENT(ines)!

A place to just let one rip where no one can hear… finally!

Day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year… I’m starting to experience all walks of life but recently these encounters are less welcoming than ever. I realize that as adulthood begins, there are more responsibilities and less time to fulfill these but does getting older equate to less fun?

Today is Valentine’s Day, a holiday the Catholic Church initiated. Yet we associate it as a day of love, chocolates, and money spending on significant other (given that you have one). To me however, it’s just another day, another reason to just have fun with someone special.

That I attempted this year, but I guess that someone special just turned out to be a dud. I am guilty of putting in less effort on her than previous girlfriends (surprising ain’t it?) and speaking out my frustrations of her, with her, than those that came before. Maybe it is because as time flows by, so does my patience.

Granted I’m not the most mature 23 year old but wasn’t there a saying that girls mature around three years faster than guys? Given that equation, 20 year olds should be mature enough to be on my level. Totally false! Whoever said that shit about girls becoming more mature than guys, I want to fucken smack you upside the head and tell YOU to get mature.

From experience, I am starting to think that older girls are right for me. They’ve been there and done that so they tend to cut through the bullshit and save me from the agony of teenage-love-affair-drama bullshit that early twenties have. I’m not saying all older girls are mature or have the brains to know what bullshit relationships are (once again from experience), but it’s surely a less waste of a time with them.

In any case… GET ON MY LEVEL!